Breathe
by Ai Laik Heda Lexa
Summary: Set after the end of season two. Clarke and the rest of the Hundred try to cope with what happened in the mountain. Will they finally be able to survive on their own? Will they finally see Clarke again? Can she be saved from herself?


**Here's my second 100 story, please let me know if you like it!**

 **Chapter 1**

 **Clarke**

It took Clarke almost exactly eight hours to walk back to Mt. Weather. She would definitely be called crazy for doing this, but she felt that there was no other way to move on from what she did to them. When she walks in she can detect that awful smell of decaying bodies. She starts with the children, reasoning that their innocent souls should be laid to rest first. There are exactly one hundred and twenty seven kids. Ranging from what looks to be a one year old boy to what looks to be a twelve year old girl.

It really kills her though when she takes the younger kids, they lay there, so small in her arms and she's the one who did that to them. They never even had a chance to read, and go to school, or fall in love, and it was her fault

In the eight hours it took to get to Mt. Weather, Clarke had gone over all of the things that she could have done differently in her head.

She could have told the people in TonDC about the missile, because according to Bellamy they found out that he was there anyway.

She could have just stayed at Mt. Weather, and taken it down from the inside. That way she wouldn't have left her people. That way she could have died to save them, instead of killed to save them.

She could have.

She could have.

 _She could have._

Clarke tells herself that Octavia was right. Her best wasn't good enough. _She_ wasn't good enough. If she was good enough then _all_ one hundred of them would still be there. No one would've died. They wouldn't have been at war with the grounders. But there is nothing that she can do about that. She failed.

And because she wasn't good enough to be the good guy when she was saving her, over three hundred lie dead in Mt. Weather, and who knows how many in TonDC.

So she keeps going. Day after day, night after night, she drags the bodies that are too heavy to lift and carries the bodies of those who look so fragile in death that if she were to bump them into anything they might break, and she buries them. She buries every body that she can find. She buries the bodies of her people whom she couldn't save. And when she's finally done. She just sits there. She sits and looks at all of the graves, trying to decide where she should go next. She knows that she should probably go to TonDC. She knows that she should make sure that the alliance is still in tact.

But for now she just wants to sit.

 **Bellamy**

"I don't like it here, O. I think that it's time that we head back to the drop ship. I want to go home." Bellamy tells Octavia one morning as they eat their mashed up berries and mystery meat for breakfast.

"It can't be just you me and Lincoln, Bellamy. Do you even know if the other's will follow you?" She asks him.

"I don't know, things haven't really been the same for them since Clarke left. They all miss her." He says pushing the food around on his makeshift plate.

"Yeah, well they shouldn't. She doesn't deserve to be missed. She deserves whatever kind of self-inflicted punishment that she's probably putting herself through right now." She practically spits. "After what happened in TonDC, and after all she did to the Mountain People, she doesn't deserve anything good in her miserable life."

As she talks she fails to realize that she's drawn a bit of a crowd.

"Shut up, Octavia," Bellamy tells her. "Why do you think that she left huh? She thought that all of the people that she sacrificed so much for would feel the same way that you do. And if she had seen them act the way that you are now, then it would have killed her. Do you understand?"

"I understand that hundreds of people died because of her. That's what I understand. I understand that because of her, Jasper is walking around camp with a broken heart. I understand that because of her, Finn is dead. I understand that she didn't tell anyone, _anyone_ about the missile in TonDC. I understand that it's because of her that all of us are suffering so much. And you-" She says, practically yelling so that she can be heard over the din.

"Shut up Octavia! I can't take it anymore!" Harper is the one who interrupts her. "You weren't in the mountain! You don't know what any of us went through. You weren't tortured while those psychopaths drained you of your bone marrow, like you were just some disposable piece of garbage. You may hate her Octavia, but she is the only reason that we all are alive right now."

"But she didn't even warn the people who were in TonDC!" she tries.

"And you think that that didn't kill her to do?" Monty asks her. "Because it did, it killed her, and all she was trying to do was keep your brother safe. Then she has your ungrateful ass treating her like shit, and once again, she had to make a heart-wrenching choice. You don't think that she doesn't know that she killed innocent people? She knows and it almost killed her. And she's gone anyway, so you can just stop trying to get everyone else to hate her with you and Jasper. Okay? Come on Harper let's go."

Bellamy watches as his sister sits there with her mouth hanging open. Monty has never yelled at anyone, and Octavia's surprised that it was her who those words were thrown at.

"I don't care what you say Octavia, we all need her. Your hate isn't going to change that." With that Bellamy grabs his tray pf food and leaves her behind.

 **Clarke**

She walked through the quiet woods, once again trying to find of the alternatives to what had happened. She knows that in the end she didn't really have a choice. It was her people or his people and she chose hers.

Every time she recalls what happened the thing that hurts her the most is the picture of Jasper holding a dead Maya in his arms that flashes through her mind.

She knows that she should probably rest, but she can't rest until she knows that her people will be safe from a grounder attack.

She bends down to drink some water from a little creek that's running in front of her and when she goes to stand up again she feels a sharp pain in her neck and then everything is black.

When she wakes up again, she finds herself in the room that Cage had used to drill for bone marrow in. when she opened her eyes she saw a figure standing in the corner.

"Hello?" She calls out. She goes to move but she finds herself strapped down. "Who's there?" She doesn't really get a response, just the shadow stepping into the light. "Emerson?"

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **~S.**


End file.
